Masked
by bemyxluckyxcharm
Summary: The ravine isn't Jay Hogart and Emma Nelson's only secret. Cowritten by Bri and Bree
1. The Party Scene

**Masked**

**Chapter One; The Party Scene**

**Summary;** The ravine wasn't Emma Nelson and Jay Hogart's only secret.

**Authors Notes; **Usually people get lost in the glitz of most future fan fictions. A story is usually more affective when fewer characters are used so we decided to use the base as Emma, Jay and Sean and the rest from there. Most show happy marriages full of drama free - but usually the drama generation would just simply spill right into the drama future. This is why we decided to add a little drama to your not-so-average triangle. Skye is the main of character of this specific fan fiction, she's an incoming grade seven at Degrassi Community School, Jay is her by association of Sean her Uncle slash Godfather and we'll leave it at that.

We hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer; **We own Degrassi; we're a bunch of compulsive liars. We will probably be the writers of the next next generation. We also own all the songs in the titles of the Chapters; this one is by All Time Low.

Flashback

"Manny, I slept with Jay." Emma confessed to her best friend after holding it in for as long as she could. The bad thing is it was three days before her wedding.

"What?!" Manny dropped the needle ball she was using while she helped Emma fix up the dress she had bought, it was just a tad too big and Emma wanted everything to be perfect, so she called in the wonderful, amazing, Manny Santos, known to have many talents, dress altering being one of them. "Well, do you love him?" She asked trying to be calm.

Emma rolled her eyes, "I think I've heard those exact words from you before. . last time I was with Jay." She shuddered at the thought. "But this time. . I don't think the answer is so clear."

End Flashback

Emma now sat pool side at her house while she watched her daughter, Skye Cameron-Nelson, at her eleventh birthday party. The question always looming in her mind; who was Skye's father? She glanced over at Sean, who was stroking her hand with his thumb. Then she glanced at Jay. She frowned and thought; what did I get myself into?

Jay Hogart eyed Emma after he recently threw Skye and her friends one by one into the large pool each girl asked to be thrown in again. Clatters of her good friends saying, "Wow your Uncle is so cool." seem to boom throughout the pool. Emma politely acknowledges the look with a nod before looking back at Sean, "Can you believe how old she's getting? How old I'm getting?"

"You haven't aged a day since the day I married you." Sean told Emma, still holding her hand. With the mention of wedding a memory came to Emma's head.

Flashback!

"I do," said Sean happily. He was the happiest man on Earth right now, getting to marry Emma.

"And do you, Emma Christine Nelson, take Sean Hope Cameron as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for better or worse, until death do you part?" The preacher said in a sing-song voice, almost making Emma want to punch him and tell him to stop being so damned happy. Emma glanced at the best man - Jay Hogart - and he nodded knowingly, encouraging her to say 'I Do' and to tell her I know how you're feeling.

Emma smiled slightly and nodded at the preacher. "I do."

end flashback!

"Yeah right, Sean. I'm so getting old. . I found wrinkles this morning."

"Well, I like your wrinkles."

She laughed and looked at him, "You do? But I'm sure there'd be a different story 5 years from now. . "

"Em, you're only 29, five years from now you'll be 34. You're not that old."

She felt even more uneasy as she let out a calm nervous laugh that didn't at all appear nervous to Sean with a shake of her head. Even with Sean right there, not even questioning anything about her, her eye still veered to Jay on the pool deck so happening to have his eyes fixated on hers. She hated how he made the world stop, and yet at the same time she thought it was something she loved.

Jay had just finished throwing Skye into the pool. He had to admit, he was the cool one of the family. He was the only one willing to get in the water with the girls and mess around. What can he say? He's a kid at heart. Jay continued to stare at Emma, unaware that Sean was right there. She was watching him too, which seemed to make everything less important. "Hey Nelson!" He smirked, he still loved teasing her. "Come in, the water is great!" He heard several other girls chime in, yelling, "Come on Emma!" Emma had told all her daughters friends to call her Emma, she didn't want to be called Mrs. Cameron, she said it made her feel old. But her mind told her there was another reason she didn't like being called that...

Emma looked at Sean who gave her that extra push to go on and have fun with her daughter, she touched the lukewarm water with her toe and laughed as she removed her sheer wrap skirt and tossed it to the chair behind her. She then went down the ladder and found herself in the pool, "You weren't kidding."

"Why would I kid about this? I live for getting girls to take their clothes off." He said the last part in a whisper; to be sure none of the younger girls heard him. His trademark smirk from high school still lingering on his face. Jay turned away from Emma and towards Skye "So Skye! Are you ready for your first day in He--Degrassi CS?" He asked, correcting himself from saying Hell Hole.

Skye nodded enthusiastically, looking at her mom who just happened to be watching as Jay used his classic charm on everyone, "Yes yes. I can't wait to have Elh's class. Someday I hope to have 'S and J Auto'" She had a lot in common with Sean and Jay it was hard to tell who she was more like , whose qualities she had more of. It was a fact she looked like her, no doubt on that from her height and her hair color but her eyes were like a Precious Moments doll big, beautiful and blue and all inside her she had the hobbies of her potential father and her 'dad', she then added, "Like the ghost stories I hope to sneak in at night see Rick's ghost."

Emma instantly went pale and Jay turned to her and made an apologetic face. "Skye, Rick's ghost isn't at Degrassi, he's resting up in heaven." Jay said sweetly, but thought "More like hell." bitterly in his mind.

"Oh come on, ma you honestly believe that? Nobody witnessed the kids death it's still under investigation, right Jay?" Skye often saw her mother as timid and afraid to talk a certain way, to make her daughter believe that what she said was right when really she had a feeling she's not telling her something, like the fright gripped expression on her face.

Jay shook his head and rolled his eyes, "I know some people that witnessed his death. And to everyone that went to DCS that year it's a touchy subject. Besides you kids don't know the full story." Jay sat on the edge of the pool, his feet dangling in the water. Emma still looked just as frightened as ever, like she'd seen a ghost or something.

_Emma remembered the gun being just being pointed without hesitation at her face. She wanted to scream but her lungs refused to permit it. Toby simply with all of him clung to her arm seemingly cutting off her circulation, she wanted to know why he was there but she didn't say a word. She remembered Sean, she thought it was the end when he got in the way; she wanted to know why he did something that crazy when her and Sean hadn't spoken in months, almost a year. She honestly thought he was gone when the gun went off. _

"Eww." Emma removed her frost white hands from the water, and shook her head she wanted to be rid of her fear and away from the memory, "I'm getting all pruny. ."

"Mooooommmm." Skye whined. "You've only been in the water for like five minutes. You always care about how you look." Skye rolled her eyes.

"Well I have my reasons." She hoisted herself out of the pool. Jay seemed to eye her as she got out throwing a towel around her, instead of back at her chair with Sean she left the pool completely and went inside.

Skye seemed to look at Jay as he watched her mom leave the pool and she couldn't help but notice it in a way she couldn't put her finger on, she wanted to get his attention, "So what was high school like for you? Any advice?"

"Advice. . advice. Let's see. Stay out of trouble, don't cause drama. Do your work. All that obvious stuff." Jay said. "Oh yeah and you're not allowed to kiss any boys until your 30, your dad and I agreed on that."

"And no kissing girls like, Aunt Alex." She smirked.

He stifled a laugh "You've been around me too much kid." He reached out and tickled her.

She moved backward, avoiding it but still laughing, "Oh yeah? It's not my fault you come over everyday!"

"Well somebody's gotta keep you inline." He laughed, knowing he obviously made the opposite effect on anyone he was near.

Sean came over to the side deck, where Jay and Skye had been standing in the pool, "Hey did Em come out yet?"

"She went in the house, daddy." Skye told him.

"Was she alright?" Sean asked uneasily noticing how she looked when she exited the pool, "You two didn't splash her or anything?"

"No, we didn't do anything." Skye shook her head. Jay pulled Sean aside, "Skye brought up Rick. . you know how she is with those things. She said that she wanted to sneak in and see Ricks ghost. And how nobody saw him die. ."

Sean sighed somberly, just looking down at the ground for a few moments, "Yeah I know what you mean, Jay. I didn't really tell her about what really happened, you should tell her I mean you know more than I do. . besides you two get along she'll freak because I didn't tell her before if I mention it. I just know you can paint a better picture that's all. I got to check on Emma."

"I'll tell her, just not today." Jay nodded as Sean walked away, going to check on Emma. Jay turned around and started running and yelling, "CANNONBALL!" He jumped in the pool.

Inside Emma stood with a towel around her warming her in the air conditioning looking at the yearbook smiling calmly to her, Charlie the dog calmed her by lying at her side in a sleep. Emma noticed Sean coming inside, "Can you believe how long it's been since we went to Degrassi?"

"It's been a while. I'm not sure if I'm happy or not that Skye is gonna go there." Sean sat down next to her on the chair. He kissed her cheek as he relaxed. He glanced down at a picture from sophomore year. It was a picture of Emma and Jay in the library, he stared at it for a few moments longer, wondering what had been going on, but he brushed the thought away as she turned the page.

"Gosh, what was I thinking with those bangs?" Emma asked looking at her hair when she turned the page to the rows and rows of pictures of the class when it got to Nelson.

He laughed, "You've changed a lot since 7th grade." He said, now looking at their seventh grade yearbook. "Back in my denim jacket days."

"Oh Gosh, I was a stick. What's crazy is I bought each yearbook to mortify myself even more now." She told him laughing lightly, "How many jackets was it that you said you owned?"

He laughed with her "Too many." He looked at her "Can you believe we started dating seventeen years ago?"

"I can't believe it but it's true." She told him matter-of-factly, "Years go by fast, I can't believe how old Skye is. . already going to our old high school?"

"Imagine being in your mom's place, having your granddaughter go to your old high school. It's crazy."

She snickered, "Point taken." closing the yearbook and scooting a tad closer, "Do you like how things ended up?"

"I love how things ended up." He leaned in and kissed her.

She kissed him back, and cracked a smile once they pulled away, "I like it too. Just I'm not in love with the fact she's going to Degrassi. . "

"With everything that's happened there, I'm surprised the school isn't closed yet." He agreed.

"I know, Skye needs to know what really happened." Emma sighed just thinking about how hard it would be for some one to tell her how hard it would be to tell the truth, "I just can't do it though. . I feel like I've been sheltering her. . way too much. I just don't want her to end up like me, still frazzled no matter how many times I visit Libby."

Libby was once Liberty Van Zandt everyone's favorite overachiever, the girl everyone loved to hate with a passion. She was the girl who wore overalls to she reached the ripe old age of seventeen and then broke the mold by being the first student council rep to be pregnant in office. She's done a lot of growing up after the untimely death of her first and only love J.T she decided to lend her advice and help to others and went to college for psychology. Emma visits her bi monthly and they talk about everything, we mean everything. From her whirlwind between Jay and Sean to her fears and feelings about the shooting. Even with her age, she hasn't exactly over come it all and it's hard to let go.

"Well I'm sure anyone in your place would be the same way. I mean you don't exactly get over having a gun pointed at you. And let's hope you never get over the fact that your loving husband saved your life." He smiled, showing his dimples.

"You know, we really never talked about it. I didn't know you saw it quite like I did." She returned the smile stepping closer to him.

He stepped closer to her too. "Well I'm glad we see eye to eye on this."

"Of course" She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him in a hug. She was facing the windows, but the large bay windows overlooking the pool on the lower level where they were standing showed Jay at the party with the guests and her eyes seemed to fixate on him, as if she couldn't see anything more.

He held her tight, kissing her neck softly. He pulled away slightly, "We should go out there, serve the cake, sing happy birthday. You know all that fun stuff."

She pulled away gently and slowly acknowledging his question, "You go, the cake is already out there I'll go get the silverware." giving Jay who happened to see her one last look before she went on to the kitchen to get the silverware for the cake.


	2. The Webs We Weave

**Chapter Two; The Webs We Weave**

**Disclaimer;** Yet again - Bree and Bri do not own any of Degrassi's characters except for Ms. Skye. Nor do we own The Webs We Weave by Escape the Fate.

**Thanks to; **DaniCaliforniaML, FindMeBroken, TammyWammy,

and to Xo Junior's Cinderella oX - You'll just have to keep reading to find out. ;)

-x-

Emma Nelson found herself three weeks after the party washing dishes with only three days left until judgment day, her daughter was going to be attending the school that made her dreams as well as her nightmares. She was calmly letting the water run, as her constantly looked back to see if Skye was working on the summer reading she put off until days before, three to be exact, "Skye. . I meant it. Don't leave that spot until it's done."

But Mom... it's so boring!" Skye sighed and laid down on the couch, continuing to read.

"If it were mine it'd would've been done in July. . " She trailed off.

"That's because you're like perfect, mommy." Skye smiled, sucking up to her mom. Just then Jay walked in; he had been in the other room watching the football game with Sean. Jay opened the fridge door like it was his own house and grabbed a soda.

Emma turned her head around and shut off the water, and walked over to Jay snatching the soda right out of his hand, "Hey you, that's mine!" Emma sounded like a menacing child and Skye was all too used to her mother's silly goose antics when it came to her mom and Jay. It seemed like the three to her, were the best of friends in high school and Skye was so wrong.

"Please, Em, you don't even like soda." He smirked. He heard Sean holler and whoop in the living room, he turned slightly to Skye "Hey Skye, wanna go see what happened in the game?"

Skye smirked with anything to get out of the summer reading assignment. Emma didn't even care that Jay just let Skye leave. Emma just laughed and checked to see if Skye had disappeared into the living room yet and then put her hand on Jay's shoulder, "As a matter of fact I _do_. . like soda - yes." The cold soda remained in her left hand.

"Oh really?" He rested his hand on her waist, enjoying the closeness of Emma. The dangerousness of her being near sent shivers up his spine and he loved it. He wished he could kiss her, that she fell asleep in his arms every night, rather than Sean. But all they had together was one night and a dangerous secret.

She bit her lip holding back a lot, and gave nothing but a nod. She knew she had wishes that she never said I do but what else was there for her to do, it left her little choice. She just gazed at Jay, he was closer to her than he had ever been and she did like it. In silence they stood, but nothing else the risk of Sean or even Skye walking in was abundant.

Emma leaned up and whispered after moments of silence "You can have it." She smirked, putting the soda in his free hand and slowly backed away.

"Wanna know a secret?" Jay snickered, "It wasn't for me."

Emma tilted her head and gave Jay a confused look, "It's for Sean?"

He nodded with a Cheshire cat smile on his face as he began on his way out.

As Skye re-entered the room, with a light smile, she told him "Jay, the other team fumbled." In silence Emma turned around feeling so mortified as she turned on the water and stared off into the nothingness, Skye obeyed her mom and started back on her book report. More and more minutes passed by as the water slowly began to fall upon the floor.

Skye watched as the water fell but said nothing; she turned again and continued to read her book. Skye sighed when the girl and the boy, forever forbidden to be together, kissed secretly. Somehow this scene felt all too familiar to Skye, like she's seen it in a movie or read it before, but something told her it wasn't in a movie or a book. .

Emma continued her constant thoughts as the water slowly pulled a glass forward to shatter onto the floor causing Emma to shriek flashing her back into reality. "Skye. . "

Skye jumped up, going to get something to clean up the mess. She brought it back to her mom. "Here ya go, Mom."

She took it smiling sheepishly, "I'm such a ditz." as she knelt down to grab the shards of glass, "I'll just mop this again. . and Skye don't go near the sink."

Skye went and got a trash can for Emma to put the glass in, "It's okay, everyone makes mistakes." She smiled a bit.

"Understatement." She told her.

Skye looked at her, confused, "What do you mean?"

"Like them shoes I wore to Paige's daughter's party, the one at the really exclusive spa I so wore the wrong shoes."

"That's not what I meant, Mom."

"Then nothing, never mind. Forget what I said."

Skye nodded then went back to her reading, "If I read 20 more pages can I go play?"

"If you promise to do it as soon as you get home. . no instant messages, no emails straight back to reading." Emma told Skye sternly.

Skye nodded and speedily read her book. After a half and hour Emma had gone into the living room and Skye finished reading. She ran out to the back and went on the huge jungle gym that Jay and Sean had built for her.

Meanwhile Jay felt awkward discomfort as Emma sat on the couch on the nearest side to Sean, leaving Jay third wheeling as usual in the corner of the long curved couch still watching the game.

"Does anyone want anything?" Emma asked, glancing over to the awkward Jay.

"Maybe you should watch the game for once instead of worrying about everything." Sean reassured her that they're all fine. "And Skye'll get her report done, you don't need to worry. . "

"Skye's out playing, she read the amount she had to read today." Emma once again looked at Jay "You positive you don't want anything. Maybe another. . soda?"

Jay made a face as if she was proposing something he didn't understand, "Eh, I guess."

Emma hopped up "I'll get it." She smiled and headed for the kitchen. She honestly hated football, although she'd never tell Sean that. She stood in the kitchen for a while, hoping to not have to see anymore football.

Jay took Emma's seat that had a better view of the game.

Sean sighed, "They're so not going to win, Jay."

Jay frowned, "They'll be out of the playoffs if they don't. So they better get their shit together."

"Yeah in a minute. . like that'll ever happen."

"Well, they should try."

"Well I know that Ben Collins is a lazy bum who makes excuses as to why he can't get his shit together . . Every effing game he's friggin benched they should trade him."

Just then the team got a touch down, "See man, they know that if they don't win we'll kick their asses."

"Yes!" Sean yelled as the game ended with all the loud sounds amplifying the room with the television and the enthused announcers commented in the glory.

Emma came back in the room, "They won?" She asked in amazement.

"Yes!" Sean exclaimed more thrilled then ever. In all his thrill he managed to get up off the couch, and run into the kitchen, "I gotta call Trac!" He absentmindedly left Emma and Jay in the same room.

Emma rolled her eyes "I swear that boy needs football rehab." She sat down next to Jay.

"My lucky day, this is the second time I've had the pleasure being alone with Miss Nelson." He commented on the days events, "he honestly does, I mean don't get me wrong I like it but I wont go and marry the game."

She laughed, "If he wasn't married to me who knows what he'd be doing." She looked at him smiling, "And it is your pleasure because if I know Sean, and I do, he'll be on the phone with his brother for at least an hour."

"I bet he'll be on for two, especially when it comes to football - Track don't have television he's gotta explain every detail."

"Every detail down to the player's numbers." She agreed.

"You do know him better than me, you're good."

"Well, I'm married to him so I do hope I know him well." Every time she says 'married to him' or something like that she cringes slightly, like even after all this time she still doesn't believe it or she doesn't like it.

"Oh it sounds like a bad thing?"

She shrugged, "Can you keep a secret?"

"I've got too many, sure."

"It _still_ scares me to think I'm married to him." She told him.

"Still have cold feet, how many years later?"

"Eleven years." She informed him.

"Wow. . it's been eleven years "

"Time goes by too fast."

"For me it's the opposite - too slow."

"I'm going through this mid life crisis - everyone in my life is with someone everyone's lives are planned out and they're happy with where it's at and where it's going to go - half my friends have kids - heck, Alex and Paige adopted a girl."

"Well, I never said I was completely happy with my life. There's a lot of things that I've wanted to do and never get to, because I have Skye. In my opinion you're privileged to not have to worry about your daughters well being. I can't do the things I want because I have to make sure I take care of Skye, save money for her. ."

"Do you ever ask yourself stuff about. . the last time you got cold feet?"

"All the time. ."

"I apologize. . " Even if he didn't, he wanted to be around her that night, he didn't expect things to go the way they did but he still thinks about it constantly and he constantly wondered what if she left Sean at the altar - but he knew it was only wishful thinking, they've been married for so long, and given the fact Seam's best friend is Jay the last thing he wants is to loose his best friend again. It was then he had to come to grips with harsh reality - he can't change it or shake it so he hasn't really much a choice, or does he?

"You don't have to apologize, it wasn't your fault." She looked over at him and sighed. She had cold feet and she knew he would make her feel better, and well they did more than just that. They both know it was a mistake but some how it was something they both would never take back or change, as unfortunate as it was, it was perfect. Perfect in it's own dirty lying way.

"I still feel like shit, doing that to Sean again - keepin' something behind his back like that."

"And you'd feel better if you told him? Ha." She laughed sarcastically, "There's nothing you can do to change it now."

"Rather not tell him."

"Good. I like it as our little secret." She paused, thinking. "But Jay. . do you ever think about. . what if Skye is actually. . yours?"

"Every day."

"And. . . what if she was?"

"I don't know. . se already thinks Sean's her father. . can you imagine trying to tell her he might not be."

"I know. But I'm talking about you, what would you do if she was yours?"

"There's not much I can do given she'd never speak to me again probably."

"Please, she loves you. It's Sean that would never speak to you." She glanced at him, "But would you be happy?"

"Yeah, it'd definitely clear a lot of air but at the same time it would be a blessing in disguise. . even if she does still talk to me - you'd be trying your best trying to work out things with Sean."

She sighed at a loss for words. Truthfully she didn't know if she would work things out with Sean, maybe she wasn't meant to be with him. After seventeen years she still finds herself questioning him, even more so in these past eleven. But Jay. . Jay fascinated her, the way he always made her laugh and smile even when she was at her worst. Sean just brought out the worst in Emma.

He looked at Emma with sympathy, "Re-remember when we uh got in that fight backstage on opening night? I told you I knew the real you - when really I didn't know but I know who you are now isn't you. Does it make sense, sue me if it doesn't."

"That makes no sense." She laughed lightly.

"Well let's just leave it at that, you don't make sense. You're acting like your secure when you aren't, if you don't like the direction your life is going do something about it like Sean told me you used to."

She shrugged, "There isn't much I _can_ do now."

"Sure there is. . . I just don't know what. You're smart; you usually come up with smart stuff. . "

"I've had my share of stupid things too. ."

"You walk around egg shells when you're with, Sean. I remember you told me you hated when people treated you different - you treat Sean different but not a good different. . and in the process you've ditched your real personality." Jay told Emma pacing around the room not really making a great deal of sense but trying his best, he's just going by experience.

"Well, I don't think I want him to find out that Skye isn't his." She told him, anger rising in her voice. She didn't like being criticized, especially by Jay. "It's not like you're much better, you sneak around behind his back to see me and then when we're both around you're totally different and awkward."

"What are you saying, Em? Are you honestly trying to say Skye is mine?" He hollered hoarsely before realizing his loud volume, but tried hard to cover up his mistake with, he just eyed Emma not even beginning to react to the last thing she had added, he knew she didn't like his demeanor but there wasn't much else to say or do, he looked behind his back seeing Sean nowhere in sight as usual and he just simply did something that changed the whole argument, he leaned in, even closer than they had been and it was as if it was supposed to happen just by the way they two had been standing so close, with that last brief thought he kissed her.

"So Trac the super bowl party sounds good, nice talkin' bro." Sean tells Tracker as he started to get off the phone. Jay heard the receiver click and with that he pulled away.

"Eh Sean?" Jay called louder than usual, Emma stood in a daze as she does most days especially now with Skye's increasing age, "Do me a favor and tell Skye I'll swing by tomorrow to drop her at school I'm going to go."

Emma simply nodded and watched as Jay walked away. Jay walked past Sean, and with a simple, "Later Jay." He walked out of the door and Sean back to the living room. The mask returned to Emma's face, and life returned back to the form of routine normalcy.


	3. Situations

**Chapter Three; Situations**

**Disclaimer; **You know we'd love to own Degrassi, you may say we're dreamers. . but we're not the only ones. Anyways, we don't own Situations by Escape The Fate either (amazing song by the way.)

The next afternoon, Emma was sitting on the porch for it was still nice enough out that she could knit some stuff, lately she's been knitting especially after the night before's events. Jay believes Skye could be his, part of Emma believes there's few doubts but she knew she'd have to keep everything under wraps, in her thoughts she messed up the part she had been doing when she sees Jay's old orange car. She shakes her head, wondering how it's still running as he pulls up the driveway with Skye in the passenger seat she noticed the school days go quicker when she herself hasn't been in school but waves politely to them.

After Jay had picked Skye up from school, which was his duty because Sean took Emma's car everyday to work, he brought her home. He nodded his head to Emma as he walked towards her, "Hey Em." He said semi-happily, a little confused about the night before's events.

Emma nodded and then looked at her daughter, "So anything eventful happen today?"

Skye shook her head, blonde locks twirled everywhere. "Nope, I went to my classes and I was bored the whole time. First days are always so boring." She paused, frowning. "But my and my friend Misty walked past JT Yorke's locker today, it's all sealed off, nobody can use it."

Emma swallowed hard and looked at Jay and then back at her daughter, "It's time you know a little something. . J.T. Yorke and I were good friends when I was your age. . Manny will be a wreck if Misty brings it up." Emma silently hoped Skye didn't go to the west wing of the school, near the place she hoped she'd never talk about but she knew eventually Skye would want to know why of all people her mom was the one who felt the worst about the shooting, why it hit so close to home.

"Aw. I'm sorry Mommy." Skye gave her mom a small hug. "I gotta go do my homework; my English teacher already gave us work! She's so mean!" She sighed and walked inside.

"What's her name? I never got to see your schedule." Emma followed her and Jay shrugged and let himself in behind. Skye dropped her things left and right carelessly and Emma trailed behind wanting to know most anything she can think of as she hung things, "Did you see your grandpa?"

"Yeah, he's my Media Immersion teacher. And her name is Ms. Kwan; I guess her mom used to teach at Degrassi too." Skye looked up at her mom, "But really mom, I gotta do this work so can you go? Go hang out with Jay. ."

"What excuse me for drillin' you, I'll talk to you at dinner." Emma then walked to the next room and saw Jay, and just opened up forgetting everything, "I can't believe she's going to that school. . I swear I will not be a happy camper during parent's day."

Jay laughed a little, "Neither will Sean. I'm so glad I'm not the. . parent." He said, sarcastically rubbing it in her face. He knew that there was a good chance Skye was his, but there was also that chance that there wasn't. And when it came to things like Parents Day, he was glad to take the second choice.

"I just hope she doesn't being up the whole Rick incident, she's bound to find out I even went to the school that year."

"She already brought it up once, and you ran away. I know it sucks that you got a gun pointed at your head, but you can't run away from it forever, especially when it's coming from your daughter."

She sighed, "What do I tell her, oh I was a terrible student. . I managed to be so horrible I ended up _almost _getting shot?"

"You weren't a horrible student, Em." His tone was softer this time. "You were probably one of Degrassi's best students, you just made friends with the wrong people and through turn of events got the school freak to like you. ."

"I felt sorry for the kid, it was the last time I ever was nice to someone who I thought needed help." Emma smiled and shook her head. Emma honestly thought the kid was psychotic and never really grasped the whole 'relationship' out look, after all she knew well about Terri and Rick's tragic relationship gone horribly wrong.

"See that's you, you're nice to everyone, I don't think you can ever be mean. ." He looked at her, "It's just not you to be mean. And sometimes, it can screw you over."

"I know what you mean, it's. . like I can never win. I'm too nice." Emma told him honestly. She felt with Jay coming over for the past few years she can talk to him about anything and everything and he can tell her anything and everything she would need to know. Jay is the one person you can tell something to, and he'd make you feel like your the only person, but occasionally it can backfire on the person he's talking to because with Jay you can never get too close.

"Nobody is perfect." Emma tells Jay matter of factly, "But for the record, when?"

"I don't know, like the time I wanted Sean to come hang out with me, back when you were a sophomore, and you wanted him to clean the ravine with you."

"I was not. You were being rude to me."

Jay laughed again, "Okay I'll admit that."

"Any other times? Or was that your only thought?"

"That's my only thought, you know I don't think a lot."

"Good so you were implying I was always a nice person to _you_."

"Not always, there were a few times you pretty much hated my guts. Granted I deserved it then, but you still hated me."

"That's where you're wrong, I was just moody, I was moody practically twenty-four-seven when I went to Degrassi."

"Oh so you _didn't_ hate me?"

"Eh, actually? I don't remember." A smile played on Emma's lips as she laughed, going into the refrigerator in the room they had been standing in and she got out a pitcher of iced tea, "Want any?" she asked while holding back a laugh.

"Sure." He said, brushing away the hate subject. He didn't want to bring up the whole STD scenario. He was glad that had stopped playing a role in their friendship, now they could just be friends.

She giggled, scooting Jay a cup filled with iced tea she had poured while he asked, "I used to have an environmental page and I had a few pictures up and this 'kid' Jordan got my email and started talkin' to me."

"And you met him? Em, I'm sorry for saying this, but that's really bad."

"Yeah. . and he turned out he was in his late twenties and he was a repeat offender and the last girl he had actually harmed - I got away. I should've given him more credit the password to the email was in a picture of my mom and me - she was wearing a tee shirt with it and my friends were pretty smart. "

"Wow. . that sucks." That was all he could say, what else was he supposed to say?

"Yeah I was dumb. I'm still dumb; I'm always mentally kicking myself." Emma honestly was mentally kicking herself for getting in this mess between Jay and Sean and she doesn't know how she sleeps most nights.

"That's bad for your brain ya know." He said jokingly.

"So is alcohol." Emma pointed out matter of factly.

Jay rolled his eyes, "It's too late to try to stop that now."

"You know it's not pretty when I drink." Emma sat down on the stool next to him and started to drink her iced tea.

"Oh yeah? What happens?"

Emma shook her head as if to say never mind. She didn't want to be an open book and usually when a question is answered there's no debate on it it's usually - what's done is done. She can't say that her and Sean are happily married, they tend to argue a whole bunch lately - between Skye's constant fits and her age they seem to find more and more to nit pick about; where with Jay there's little arguments but never will Emma give up when the going gets tough.

"Okay fine, don't tell me." Jay said stubbornly.

She lightly laughed, "I'm surprised you don't know how I get?"

"Sean never has me around when you're drunk." He shrugged, "But I want to see it, I'd imagine it's hilarious."

"I trip and fall, say dumb things - kind of like me being sober except clumsier."

Jay nodded, understandingly, "Well, I still wanna see it. ."

"Maybe you can. . funny you should say because you see tomorrow Sean's going to his brother's in Alberta to fix his bike. ." Emma told him, she could've been kidding but Jay could assume she wasn't kidding.

"What about Skye?" He asked, semi-jokingly, he was playing along with her little game. But at the same time, he couldn't help but feel eager to spend a day, just him and Emma.

"I think she mentioned going to Misty's like she always does."

"Oh well then, I get the pleasure of spending the day with you."

Emma beamed, "So what should I cook for dinner?"

"Tonight or tomorrow? Because you know I'll be here both days. ."

"It's nothing new, you're here everyday."

"I think you guys should get me a bed here."

"Why do you even have a house if you don't even go there. . we so should besides Skye would love it."

"Would she be the only one who would love it?" He asked, playing with her mind.

"Sean would too."

Jay sighed, "He would. ."

"You're practically family."

"In more ways than one." He eyed her.

She eyed him and broke the eye contact within seconds, "So what should I make, since you are here all the time?"

"I have no clue, how about. . fried chicken?" He shrugged.

"Hmm. Maybe I don't know if we have any in the freezer."

He opened the freezer, "Nope. But I see some hamburger. . . if you want, I can barbeque some hamburgers?"

"I'd like that."

"Okay." He smiled, taking out the meat so it could defrost. After a long silence he spoke up, "So, Em, how's life?"

"How's you fishing for a topic. . what about last night?" She told him not looking at him but just waiting for an explanation. She for one didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry about that. . I shouldn't have kissed you." He stared down at his cup of Iced Tea, watching the ice melt.

"You shouldn't be. ." she told him an a near inaudible way.

"Why not, Em? You have a husband! And he's my best friend!" He whispered loudly, to assure Skye wouldn't hear him.

"It's not your fault. .it's my fault too. I'm sorry. Just forget this." Emma shook her head outraged, she honestly felt her head spin and she didn't want to say more to agitate the cut she felt slice her heart.

"No, Emma, you have to understand. You gotta understand how long I've wanted to kiss you, how long I've waited to hold you in my arms." He said, frustrated. "I know it's the worst time possible, but I can't stop my feelings." He sighed, relieved and surprised that he had just told her that.

She bit her lip, trying to hold back everything she couldn't believe what Jay was saying it was as if he pulled out from her mind, right from under her but he couldn't of possibly known. And sure on some days Emma feels low and scummy for what she does, what she thinks every day while she's still with Sean who knows nothing at all.

He sighed again, this time out of aggravation because Emma was still silent. "I'll be outside, I'll come back whenever to make the hamburgers." He walked away from her and sat down on the porch, he pulled out a beat up box of cigarettes that he only smokes when he's stressed out. He lit up and inhaled the toxic smoke.

Emma saw him when she looked up she was really scared now, especially when Jay is smoking because she knows why. It also bothers her that she knows she caused the argument and now here she goes, Emma mentally kicking herself yet again, Jay always does that to her and even if he says it's bad for her brain she does things that merit it each and everyday.

Jay continued to inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale. When the cigarette couldn't be smoked anymore, he lit another one. It was a bad, dirty habit and he hated Emma and Skye to see him smoke, but it was the only thing that would calm him down. If he hadn't been smoking right then, he probably would have either just left and not come back for a while, or just start kissing Emma again. And both ideas sucked.

Emma didn't go outside, she just watched him until she heard the front door open and moments later Sean joining her in the kitchen, "Hey Sean, how was work?"

"It was. . work." He laughed lightly, his dimples showing. "How was staying home all day?"

Emma smiled lightly, "Good, everything is good. Kwan gave Skye homework on the first day which is no surprise."

"Why is Jay outside smoking?" He asked, glancing back at him.

"He just went out there." Emma shrugged trying to play it off like she didn't know.

"Oh, well, what's for dinner?" He smiled, "I'm starving!"

"Jay offered to make burgers outside."

"Oh, Okay. Well then I better tell him to get started on them." Sean headed outside, "Hey Jay, when are you gonna start those burgers?"

Jay threw the still burning cigarette agitatedly on the lawn smothering the dying flame with his shoe, "Right now." as he stood in front of the grill and put six burgers on because he knew him and Sean would eat two.

Sean brushed off the anger that was Jay, and headed up to his and Emma's bathroom to take a shower. Emma walked out to the backyard and sat on one of the swings that were close to the barbeque, she sat there silently, not wanting to anger Jay any more than she already had.

Jay looked at Emma as she was swinging but said not a word to her, but he waited so he can flip the burgers. He knew she went out there just to see him but the fact that Sean's oblivious is something that hurts Jay even if he is his best friend who should know practically everything.

Emma swung in awkward silence. She sighed, frustrated, "Jay, say something, please."

"What should I say Emma?" Jay asked her angrily.

"I don't know, how about explaining why you're suddenly so angry?" She asked, even though she knew the answer, she wanted him to talk again.

"Maybe because I already messed up things with me and Sean before for awhile and I don't want to have it happen again."

"So you'll risk your friendship with me and maybe even your relationship with Skye?"

"Em you know, Skye means a lot to me, and you do too and Sean's my best friend and I can't do something like that to him. . as much as it'd save me from problems it's just - I can't."

"You sure weren't acting like that a half an hour ago. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to hurt Sean or Skye, but Jay you're confusing the hell out of me."

"Maybe I should go away for awhile."

"No Jay. If you don't want to stay for Sean, or me . . at least stay for Skye."

"Only for the kid." He muttered as he opened up the grill and flipped the burgers over.

Emma sighed again, "Okay, well, since you don't like me right now, I'm going to go make the salad and stuff to go with the burgers." She got up off of her swing and headed in to the kitchen.

Skye finally emerged from her bedroom and found herself walking outback to see Jay in a state she has never seen him before, he didn't look normal, she opened the French doors and sat on the patio chair and remained friendly, "Hey Uncle Jay."

"Hey Skye." He did his best to smile but it didn't hide the anger in his eyes.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm great. How are you?"

"Alright. . I need to know some things - my mom graduated in the class of '07 right? She was there in '05 which means she knew about the Rick Murray incident - why does she act so funny about it?"

"It's a very very long story, Skye. No one really likes talking about it. But let's just say, Rick Murray had a. . thing. . for your Mom when he brought that gun to school."

"A lot of guys had a thing for my mom. The music teacher Mr. Sharpe did. . uh well I saw in the '04 year book anyway. I just have no idea why my mom hides stuff about high school I mean shouldn't moms tell and warn their kids about things?"

"Degrassi has changed a lot since your mom and your dad and I were in school, it's more secure and just. . better, I guess."

"I might sign up for the school play. I don't know what I'd like to do; I just want to get involved. . what's better for me stage crew or should I try out. Do you think they'd give a grade seven a part? I ask you because - well you seemed to know the school well. "

"Oh trust me Skye; you don't want to get involved in the school play." Jay shook his head.

"Oh you're such a guy." she hit his shoulder, "Why not? It sounds like fun, Misty's mom was in it a few times when she was in high school."

"So was your mom, and unbelievably, I was stage crew once. And that is exactly why I say - don't join the school play."

"But I want to kind of. . even if it is a commitment. I don't know. . "

"It's not fun Skye. ." Jay told her then thought _"Don't talk to me, don't touch me, or I'll deck your smug face too."_

"You wanted to get a part - but instead they made you work in the stage crew, right?"

"No, no, no. I can't act for crap."

"Tell me." She told him convincingly. She hated how she wasn't ever told anything, Jay usually tells her everything this is one of them times when he for some reason didn't want to tell her, "You don't even have to use names."

"I started to like a girl, she, I think, liked me too. We did something we shouldn't have. Something else that shouldn't have happened happened, and opening night, after her leading scene she yelled at me."

"Well the thing that sucks about high school is - you see the person every day until you graduate - right? You probably haven't seen the girl in years, she's probably married. . got kids - a nice house far far away. Just look on the Brightside of that. Some girls are just plain mean though like Rachel Mason - she called me monster because today at shop I got some oil on my hands because Mr. Elh used me for a demonstration."

"Rachel Mason? As in Spinner's daughter?" He asked, laughing. "Spin was a cool guy."

"Yeah the girl's rude. Who else did you know?"

"I know. . Tara Nunez, Paige and Alex's daughter."

"Tara's in the shop class, she's my partner this semester actually. She always tells me how the one mom hates her being in shop because she gets her hands dirty. She always tells me there's a lot of perks to having two moms."

"You'd probably like having a mom and a dad better." He laughed.

"Not when my dad's always working it's more like my family consists of mom and uncle."

"Well, that's kinda like a mom and a dad, right?"

"After all we get along so great."

"Oh so great." Jay agreed.


End file.
